How Ibn Umar (RA) would open his fast some times

This may sound strange to some, hence please understand it in its proper context. Imam ibn Sirin (Allah have mercy on him) says that the Companion Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) would, at times, open his fast with sexual relations [with his wife]. (Related by Tabarani in his Mu’jam al-Kabir with a sound chain of transmission)

Imam Suyuti adds that this means he would engage in sexual intimacy even before eating, and possibly even before offering his Maghrib prayers. This may be so that he is satisfied and able to fully concentrate on his prayers. (Al-Wishah fi Fawa’id al-Nikah) Those married may want to – at least once – act upon this sunna of a Sahabi; but make sure not to delay maghrib for too long, since that is Makruh!!!

روى الطبراني في الكبير بسند حسنه الهيثمي في المجمع عن ابن سيرين قال: ربما أفطر ابن عمر على الجماع.

The rights of the husband and the wife

The rights of the husband and the wife
…………………………………………..  ……….
Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.

We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

Firstly:

The rights of the wife which are hers alone:

The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

1.Financial rights

(a) The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)”

[al-Baqarah 2:236]

The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.

If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.

(b) Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.

What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis”
[al-Baqarah 2:233]

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]

From the Sunnah:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

(c)Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
…………………………………………..  …….
2. Non-financial rights

(i) Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.

(ii) Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

From the Sunnah:

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).

There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) towards his wives – for he is the best example:

1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)  said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”

She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)

2.  It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892)

3.  It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068) 

(c)Not harming one’s wife. 

This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.

It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)

This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim, Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/438.

Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

…………………………………….
Secondly:

The husband’s rights over his wife.

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.

These rights include:

(a) The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.
(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)

(b) Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.

If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

(c) Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)

It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851) 

It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1218)

(d) Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.

The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.

(e) Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.

The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.

The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one’s wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):

“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)”
[al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones”
[al-Tahreem 66:6]

Ibn Katheer said:

Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.

This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392) 

(f) The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:

She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman.
(al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)

(g) Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.

(h) The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”
[al-Baqarah 2:228]

Al-Qurtubi said:

It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.

Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.

The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.
(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124) 

And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Islamic rulings on contraception

What is the Islamic verdict on contraception and birth control in general? Is it only permissible at times of need?

<ANSWER>

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

First of all, it should be known that, one of the main aims of marriage in Islam is procreation. Islam encourages its followers to reproduce in large numbers in order to increase the size of the Ummah of our Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace).

Allah Most High says in the Qur’an:

“So now hold intercourse with your wives and seek (the children) what Allah has ordained for you.” ( Surah al-Baqarah, V: 187)

In a Hadith recorded by Imam Abu Dawud, Imam an-Nasa’i and others, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Marry women who are loving and reproduce in abundance, for I shall outnumber the other nations by you.”

It is clear from the above, that Shariah encourages its followers to abstain from practicing birth control, especially, when it is given a formal, organized and general approach. Therefore, one should refrain from practicing contraception unless necessary.

As far as the Shar’i ruling is concerned, there are two categories of birth control and the ruling of each is different. The ruling of each category is as follows:

1) Permanent Irreversible Contraception

This type of contraception is carried out when the couple decide never to have a baby. It is done with a sterilization operation carried out either on the man (Vasectomy) or the woman (Tubectomy) and renders the couple incapable of ever having children.

The ruling with regards to this is that, it is unlawful (Haram) to carry out such operations. There are many Narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and clear texts of the Fuqaha (Jurists) which determine this.

The Companion, Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) said:

“We use engage in Jihad in the company of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and our wives did not accompany us. We said: O Prophet of Allah! Shall we not castrate ourselves? He forbade us from doing so.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

The great Hanafi Jurist, Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) says:

“Castration of humans is Haram.” (Radd al-Muhtar).

Imam al-Ayni (Allah have mercy on him) says:

“Castration (and sterilization, m) is prohibited with the consensus of all the scholars.” (Umdat al-Qari)

However, in cases of extreme necessity, Irreversible contraception will become permissible. For example, a woman’s life is in danger or repeated pregnancies gravely damage her health, etc. This however, should be advised by a Muslim qualified doctor.

2) Temporary Reversible Contraception

There are many methods by which reversible contraception can be performed. Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method), the pill, using of the condom, i.u.d, spermicidal, just to mention a few.

The ruling on reversible contraception is that, it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) if practiced without any reason. If there is a genuine reason, then it will be totally permissible with the permission of the wife. Some of the reasons (for the permissibility of reversible contraception), which the Fuqaha mention, are:

a) Physical state of the woman,

b) Weakness and illness,

c) The couple are on a distant journey,

d) The couple’s relations are unstable and divorce is likely,

e) Spacing out children in order to give them adequate care and attention,

If contraception is practiced due to a reason contrary to the teachings of Shariah, then it will not be permissible. Some of these reasons are:

a) Fear of poverty and not being able to provide,

b) For the fashion of keeping small families and imitating the Kuffar,

c) Being ashamed of having a girl,

There are many narrations from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) which signify the permissibility of reversible contraception, but at the same time indicate it to be undesirable.

Sayyiduna Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) says: “We used to practice Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method) while the Qur’an was being revealed. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) knew of this and did not prohibit us.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim )

This has more or less been mentioned by the scholars in their books. (See Imam Nawawi in his commentary of Sahih Muslim, Mulla Ali al-Qari in al-Mirqat, Ibn Abidin in his Radd al-Muhtar and others.

For more details, please refer to my book on this subject titled Birth Control and Abortion (Revised Edition), available from the Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK.

And Allah Knows Best

[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK

Is contraception permissible? Is it disliked? What is the better way?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most MercifulIn the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, his folk, companions, and followers

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Contraception is permitted. However, it is superior not to engage in contraception without genuine reason or benefit, because the Qur’an and Sunna have encouraged having children, and there is great benefit to the individual and society in raising righteous children.

Allama Jad al-Haqq (Allah have mercy on him), the pious late 20th Century Shaykh al-Azhar, wrote in a fatwa dated 1399 AH (1979 CE), that:

1. Contraception is permitted if the husband and wife agree, as there is nothing in the Qur’an or Sunna to prohibit it; rather, the hadiths and practice of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) indicate permissibility, and this is confirmed by the words of the jurists across the schools of Islamic law.

2. It is not permitted to engage in contraception without the agreement of the spouse–for both husband and wife.

2. Contemporary forms of contraception, whether used by the husband or the wife, are akin to the `azl (ejaculating outside the vagina) mentioned in the hadiths, as is explicitly understood from the words of the jurists of the Hanafi and other schools. Rather, they are superior, more natural, and less harmful.

3. It is not permitted to use irreversible contraception–such as sterilization.

4. It is not permitted for there to be state-imposed forcible population planning. [Summarized from Jad al-Haqq’s fatwa, from Mawsu`at Fatawa Dar al-Ifta’ al-Masriyya]

Other contemporary fuqaha state likewise.

While some texts indicate that it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) to do so, this is not what most of the major jurists of the Hanafi school state. Even jurists who stated that it is disliked mentioned that if there is a sound reason or benefit to engage in contraception then it is not disliked. In our times, this would include reasons such as having a manageable family size, when one does not have the support of extended families in raising the children; the desire to give the children the attention, education, and support they need in difficult times; genuine (physical or emotional) health reasons, and so on.

However, we understand at the same time that one of the purposes (maqasid) and wisdoms of marriage is to have children, as mentioned by Imam Ghazali in his Ihya’ Ulum al-Din.

The Qur’an and Sunna of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) have encouraged having children. There is great benefit to the individual and society in having children. Not only does having righteous children maintain healthy communities and societies, but it also teaches humanity: few things are more effective in teaching good character, mercy, compassion, and true love as having children does.

This is why the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Marry and multiply.” [Abu Dawud and Nasa’i]

Regarding the Permissibility of Contraception

Sayyiduna Jabir ibn Abd Allah (Allah be pleased with him), the notable Companion of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) relates that,

“We used to engage in contraception (`azl) while the Qur’an was being revealed. Had it been something that was interdicted, the Qur’an would have forbidden it.” [Bukhari (5209); Muslim (4220)]

Kasani (Allah have mercy on him) states in Bada’i` al-Sana’i` (2.334-335),

“It is disliked to engage in contraception (`azl, preventative ejaculation) with one’s wife without her permission. This is because intercourse with ejaculation is the means to having a child, and having a child is her right. By resorting to contraception [without her permission], having a child is prevented, which is akin to being a reason for not fulfilling her right.

However, if the contraception was with the wife’s agreement (rida), then it is not disliked. In such a case, she will have willingly forgone her right.”

This is also mentioned by Marghinani in al-Hidaya, and Nasafi in Kanz al-Daqa’iq. Zayla`i confirms this in his commentary on Kanz al-Daqa’iq. [Tabyin al-Haqa’iq Sharh Kanz al-Daqa’iq, 6.21]

Ibn Taymiyya (Allah have mercy on him) and others relate that the permissibility of contraception with the wife’s permission is agreed upon by the four schools of Sunni Islam. [al-Fatawa al-Kubra, 2.101]

Ibn Nujaym (Allah have mercy on him) says in al-Bahr al-Ra’iq Sharh Kanz al-Daqa’iq,

“The permissibility of contraception (`azl) is the position of the generality of scholars, because of the [abovementioned] hadith in Bukhari…” [3.214]

Is Contraception Disliked, Though?

Ibn Nujaym then quotes Ibn al-Humam (Allah have mercy on him), who mentioned in his magnificent commentary on al-Hidaya, Fath al-Qadir, that some scholars of the Hanafi school considered contraception to be permitted yet disliked, while others did not consider it disliked. [ibid.]

Mulla Khusro, the great Ottoman master jurist, said in al-Durar, that it is permitted to engage in contraception. He does not state that it is disliked. [1.315] Shurunbulali (Allah have mercy on him) does likewise in his marginal commentary, al-Shurunbulaliyya. In fact, he relates that some scholars permitted it even without permission because of the bad times.

The Fatawa Hindiyya, compiled by some of the greatest jurists of Moghul India under commission from the righteous Sultan Aurangzeb, explicitly negates that it is disliked by stating,

“Contraception is not disliked with the wife’s permission… “ [1.315]

This is also what Haskafi relates in al-Durr al-Mukhtar, and is confirmed by the words of Ibn Abidin in his marginal commentary (hashiya), Radd al-Muhtar.

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

قال سلطان العلماء الكاساني في بدائع الصنائع: (2/334-335) ويكره للزوج أن يعزل عن امرأته الحرة بغير رضاها ; لأن الوطء عن إنزال سبب لحصول الولد , ولها في الولد حق , وبالعزل يفوت الولد , فكأنه سببا لفوات حقها , وإن كان العزل برضاها لا يكره ; لأنها رضيت بفوات حقها في الفتاوى الهندية: العزل ليس بمكروه برضا امرأته الحرة أو برضا مولى امرأته الأمة وفي الأمة المملوكة بغير رضاها . قالوا وكذلك المرأة يسعها أن تعالج لإسقاط الحبل ما لم يستبن شيء من خلقه
*Warning: The above fatwas were regarding issues pertaining to fiqi rulings. I would refrain from seeking their fatwas on matters of aqeedah. Allahu alim.
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For a list of fatwas on the matter from IslamQA:

It pleases your lord, it gains the love of your wife, it increases your wealth and it expands your lifespan

Al-Qaadee ‘Iyaadh said:

“There has been many authentically narrated ahaadeeth which illustrate the very loving relationship the Messenger (صلى الله عليه و سلم) used to have with his family, his cheerful and upbeat character. Likewise this was how the righteous salaf used be. Imam Maalik used to say regarding having a kind, loving relationship with one’s spouse, “It pleases your lord, it gains the love of your wife, it increases your wealth and it expands your lifespan – this is what has reached us from the statements of some of the Companions of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم).” Incidentally, during his time, Imaam Maalik was amongst those who were well-known for treating their wives and children very well. And he used to say, “A man should always strive to make the people of his household love him (more), to the point that he becomes the most beloved person to them.”

The translation has been taken from the book: “The martial life of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم). The arabic can be found below on page 32

Al-Qaadhee ‘iyaadh’s Bughyatu-Raa’id

Man divorcing his wife on his parents’ orders

What is the shar’i ruling on a man divorcing his wife when his parents tell him to, on the grounds that this wife used to work for them as a servant in the past? Is this regarded as disobeying one’s parents? Please note that this wife currently lives an honourable life.

Praise be to Allaah. 

Undoubtedly the parents are those who are most deserving of respect, obedience and kind treatment. Allaah mentions the command to treat parents well alongside the command to worship Him as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

Obedience to parents is obligatory on the child with regard to that which will benefit them and will not harm the child. With regard to that which does not bring them any benefits or which will cause harm to the child, he does not have to obey them in that case.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Ikhtiyaaraat (p. 114): A person is obliged to obey his parents with regard to that which is not sinful, even if they are immoral evildoers… This has to do with that which is beneficial for them and not harmful to him. End quote.

Divorce with no acceptable reason is something that is hated by Allaah, because it destroys the blessings of marriage and exposes the family to destruction and the children to loss. It may also involve injustice towards the woman. The fact that the wife had been a servant in the past is not a legitimate reason for divorce, especially if she is religiously-committed and has a good attitude.

Based on this, he does not have to obey his parents and divorce his wife, and that is not regarded as being disobedient towards them. But the son should express his refusal to divorce her in a kind and gentle manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about the ruling on a man divorcing his wife if his father tells him to do that. He said:

If the father tells his son to divorce his wife, one of the following two scenarios must apply:

1 – Where the father gives a legitimate reason why he should divorce her and separate from her, such as saying, Divorce your wife because her behaviour is suspicious, such as she flirts with men or goes out to gatherings that are not decent and so on. In this case the son should agree and divorce her, because he is not telling her to divorce her on the basis of a whim, rather that is to protect his son’s honour from being besmirched, so he should divorce her.

2 – Where the father tells his son to divorce his wife because the son loves her, but the father feels jealous of his son’s love for her and the mother is more jealous, because many mothers, when they see that their son loves his wife, feel very jealous, as if the son’s wife is a co-wife and rival. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound. In this case the son does not have to divorce his wife if his father or mother tells her to divorce her. Rather he should be tactful with them and keep his wife, and he should try to convince them with kind words until they are persuaded that she should stay with him, especially if the wife is religiously committed and has a good attitude.

Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about this very issue. A man came and said: “My father is telling me to divorce my wife.” Imam Ahmad said to him: “Do not divorce her.” He said: “Didn’t the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) tell Ibn ‘Umar to divorce his wife when ‘Umar told him to do that?” He said: “Is your father like ‘Umar?”

If the father quotes evidence to his son and says, “O my son, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar to divorce his wife when his father ‘Umar told him to do that,” the response to that is: “Are you like ‘Umar?” But you should speak kindly and gently, and say that ‘Umar saw something which indicated that it was in his son’s interests to divorce his wife. This is the answer to this question which comes up frequently.

Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/671.

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked about a mother telling her son to divorce his wife for no reason or fault in her religious commitment, rather it was because of the mother’s personal reasons. They replied as follows:

If the situation is as described, that his wife is righteous and he loves her, and she is dear to him, and she does not behave badly towards his mother, and his mother only dislikes her for personal reasons, then he should keep his wife and stay married to her. He does not have to divorce her in obedience to his mother, because it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to that which is right and proper.” Based on this, he should honour his mother and uphold ties of kinship with her by visiting her and spending on her, and paying attention to her needs and making her happy and pleasing her in whatever ways he can, apart from divorcing his wife.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 2/29.

Islam Q&A

“Why do you want to divorce her?”

قال عمر رضي الله لرجل هم بطلاق إمرأته: لم تطلقها؟ : قال لا أحبها فقال عمر: أو كل البيوت بنيت على الحب؟ فأين الرعاية و التذمم

‘Umar (ra) once said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife, “Why do you want to divorce her?” The man said: I don’t love her. ‘Umar then replied: “Is every house build upon love? Where is the consideration of the oath of marriage?”

Advice to one who does not want to get married

 

I am a young man and I do not want to get married. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah. 

You should note that people are not all the same when it comes to marriage. The basic principle that marriage, which was the way of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), is prescribed, applies to all people, but it may be more important in the case of some people than others.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

With regard to marriage, people are of three types:

1 – Some fear that they may fall into haraam things if they do not get married. Such a person has to get married, according to the majority of fuqaha’, because he has to keep himself chaste and protect himself against doing haraam things, and the way to do that is getting married.

2 – For some it is mustahabb. This is the one who feels desire but there is no danger of his falling into haraam. It is better for him to get married than to devote himself to naafil acts of worship. This is the view of ashaab al-ra’y and it is the view of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them and their deeds).

Ibn Mas’ood said: If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear of fitnah (temptation).

It was narrated that Sa’eed ibn Jubayr said: Ibn ‘Abbaas said to me: “Have you gotten married?”

I said: “No.”

He said: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are the ones with the most wives.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5069).

Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: Tawoos said to me: “Either get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: Nothing is keeping you from getting married except impotence or immorality.”

3 – Those who have no desire, either because they were not created with any desire, such as one who is impotent, or they had desire but it has disappeared due to old age, sickness and so on. There are two opinions:

(i)                It is mustahabb to get married because of the general meaning of what we have discussed.

(ii)              Remaining single is better for him because he cannot achieve the purpose of marriage, and he would be preventing his wife from becoming chaste by marrying someone else. And he would be harming her by keeping her for himself, and he is exposing himself to obligations and duties that perhaps he cannot fulfil, and he is distracting himself from seeking knowledge and worship with something that is of no benefit to him.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The apparent meaning of the words of Ahmad is that there is no difference between the one who can afford it and the one who cannot. He said: a man should get married and if he can afford to spend he should spend, and if he cannot then he should be patient.

This applies to one who is able to get married. As for the one who cannot, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33]. End quote from al-Mughni (9/341-344).

As this point we would like to ask you about the reason for this aversion to marriage.

If you think that not getting married is an act of worship by means of which you can draw closer to the Lord of the Worlds, and you think that if you avoid marriage this will raise you in status before Allaah, you are mistaken and there is the fear that you may be sinning.

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).

See also the answer to question no. 34652.

If you do not want to get married because you have no sexual desire, or you think that you are not able to fulfil the duties of marriage, and you are afraid of falling short in meeting a wife’s needs, I say to you: In that case there is no sin on you if you do not get married, but do not rely on your thoughts and notions. Rather you should consult a specialist doctor and ask him for advice, for he is most able to diagnose your condition, and he may have some advice for treatment that has never crossed your mind. So do not hesitate to visit him and do not let shyness stop you, for matters of medical treatment are not the place for shyness.

If you say that you are afraid of being poor, and you do not have enough wealth to look after a family, I say to you: Try your best to earn a living and be content and think positively of Allaah, for He has promised on the lips of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that He will help the one who wants to be chaste and seeks that which is halaal by getting married.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allaah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in jihad) for the sake of Allaah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1655), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

If you have something that you want to achieve – such as a certificate, a position, a project and so on – and you say that you want to achieve that first, then you will get married, we say to you: Why are you ignoring marriage for that reason?

Marriage has never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the shaytaan, which he has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent in our culture and society, and you hear many of those who have delayed their own marriages or the marriages of their sons and daughters saying such things, and our society has become burdened with problems resulting from large numbers of single men and women, and the delay of marriage, but despite that we have not seen any achievement, development or progress, whereas the first generation of Muslims used to hasten to do good and they did not delay marriage, and their achievements were the greatest and most complete of achievements.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (20/421):

What is required is to hasten to get married, and no young man or young woman should delay marriage for the sake of studies, because marriage does not prevent any such thing. It is possible for a young man to get married in order to protect his religious commitment and morals, and enable him to lower his gaze. Marriage serves many purposes, especially in this day and age. Because delaying it is harmful for both young women and young men, every young man and every young woman should hasten to get married if there is a man who is compatible with the woman, and if a man can find the right woman. End quote.

And over and above all that, how about if you realize that marriage will protect half of your religion?

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whomever Allaah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half. Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (2/175), al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat (1/294) and al-Bayhaqi in Shu’ab al-Eemaan (4/382). Al-Haakim said: This is a hadeeth with a saheeh isnaad, although they (al-Bukhaari and Muslim) did not narrate it. Al-Dhahabi said in al-Talkhees: it is saheeh. It was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb (2/192).

How about if you realise that by getting married, you will have followed the advice of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said:  “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065)and Muslim (1400).

How about if you realize that by producing a righteous child you will have ongoing charity (sadaqah jaariyah), if you raise him with good morals and faith, and you will be rewarded for your marriage if you seek reward with Allaah for that. See the answer to question no. 8891.

By getting married, you will be protecting yourself, lowering your gaze, and closing the door to one of the greatest means by which the shaytaan deceives people. You may not feel the seriousness of that now, but fitnah may come from places a person does not realize, so you should be keen to close the door before it is opened without you realizing it.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5096) and Muslim (2741).

Marriage is a source of tranquillity and peace, and it is the best of the pleasures of this world. In it is that which Allaah has made a sign for His slaves, and He has mentioned it in His Book so that they may think and ponder the greatness of His might, may He be glorified and exalted. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect”

[al-Room 30:21]

Can there be any hesitation after this?

Be resolved and put your trust in Allaah, and Allaah will help you, and will provide you with a righteous wife who will help you to obey your Lord and He will bless you with righteous offspring who will be a stored treasure for you with Allaah in the Hereafter.

See also the answer to question no. 6254.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A