Beautiful dowry ind
It was narrated that Anas said:
“Abu Talhah proposed marriage to Umm Sulaim and she said: ‘By Allah, a man like you is not to be rejected, O Abu Talhah, but you are a disbeliever and I am a Muslim, and it is not permissible for me to marry you. If you become Muslim, that will be my dowry, and I will not ask you for anything else.’ So he became Muslim and that was her dowry.” (one of the narrators) Thabit said: “I have never heard of a woman whose dowry was more precious than Umm Sulaim (whose dowry was) Islam. And he consummated the marriage with her, and she bore him a child.” [Sunan an-Nasai]
Understanding in conflicts is the key to making them constructive
The Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A righteous wife to help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.” [Al-Bayhaqī, Saheeh al-Jāmī, 4285]
Shaykh Salīh Al-Fawzan said: “If a man is married with a righteous wife, he (will) live a harmonious life even if he is poor.” [Al-Ittihaf, pg. 858]
A righteous wife will be with her righteous husband for many years.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymīyyah (may Allāh have mercy on him) said:
“A righteous wife will be with her righteous husband for many years, and she is the one who is meant in the hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allāh (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said: “This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”
This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) enjoined when the Muhājiroon asked him which kind of wealth they should acquire, and he said: “Let one of you acquire a tongue that remembers Allāh, a thankful heart, and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”
[Narrated by al-Tirmidhī from Salim ibn Abī ’l-Ja’d, from Thawbān]
She may offer the love and compassion that Allāh speaks of in His Book, and the pain of separation may be harder for her than death in some cases, and harder than losing wealth or leaving one’s homeland, especially if one of them is fond of the other or they have children together who will be harmed by separation.
[Majmoo’ al-Fatāwa, 35/299]
Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage (family status), her beauty or her religious commitment; choose the one who is religious and you will prosper.” [Sahīh Bukharī, Book 62, Hadīth Number 27]
An advise given by Imam Abu Hanifa (ra) to his student Abu Yusuf:-
“Don’t get married until you are certain that you are able to maintain and provide all her needs, so, seek knowledge first then gather your wealth from halal sources. Then and only then get married: because if you start gathering wealth while still studying you will disable yourself from seeking knowledge and become consumed by the dunia before attaining knowledge. You will waste your time and then soon you will have children and you will need to take care of their provisions resulting in you leaving of seeking knowledge.
Therefore, busy yourself with seeking knowledge in your youth and in your spare time then busy yourself in gathering wealth. Verily, the larger your family gets the more your mind will become preoccupied”.
من نصيحة أبي حنيفة لتلميذه أبي يوسف: وَلَا تَتَزَوَّجْ إلَّا بَعْدَ أَنْ تَعْلَمَ أَنَّك تَقْدِرُ عَلَى الْقِيَامِ بِجَمِيعِ حَوَائِجِهَا وَاطْلُبْ الْعِلْمَ أَوَّلًا ثُمَّ اجْمَعْ الْمَالَ مِنْ الْحَلَالِ. ثُمَّ تَزَوَّجْ؛ فَإِنَّك إنْ طَلَبْت الْمَالَ فِي وَقْتِ التَّعَلُّمِ عَجَزْت عَنْ طَلَبِ الْعِلْمِ وَتَشْتَغِلُ بِالدُّنْيَا ..قَبْلَ تَحْصِيلِ الْعِلْمِ؛ فَيَضِيعُ وَقْتُك وَيَجْتَمِعُ عَلَيْك الْوَلَدُ وَيَكْثُرُ عِيَالُك فَتَحْتَاجُ إلَى الْقِيَامِ بِمَصَالِحِهِمْ وَتَتْرُكُ الْعِلْمَ. وَاشْتَغِلْ بِالْعِلْمِ فِي عُنْفُوَانِ شَبَابِك وَوَقْتِ فَرَاغِ قَلْبِك وَخَاطِرِك ثُمَّ اشْتَغِلْ بِالْمَالِ؛ فَإِنَّ كَثْرَةَ الْوَلَدِ وَالْعِيَالِ يُشَوِّشُ الْبَالَ
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