How Ibn Umar (RA) would open his fast some times

This may sound strange to some, hence please understand it in its proper context. Imam ibn Sirin (Allah have mercy on him) says that the Companion Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) would, at times, open his fast with sexual relations [with his wife]. (Related by Tabarani in his Mu’jam al-Kabir with a sound chain of transmission)

Imam Suyuti adds that this means he would engage in sexual intimacy even before eating, and possibly even before offering his Maghrib prayers. This may be so that he is satisfied and able to fully concentrate on his prayers. (Al-Wishah fi Fawa’id al-Nikah) Those married may want to – at least once – act upon this sunna of a Sahabi; but make sure not to delay maghrib for too long, since that is Makruh!!!

روى الطبراني في الكبير بسند حسنه الهيثمي في المجمع عن ابن سيرين قال: ربما أفطر ابن عمر على الجماع.

Romantic Ramadan

I have a distinct memory of my husband and I holding hands as we drive to Tarawih prayers. He is wearing a crisp white thobe and, as we drive along the freeway, a cool breeze drifts in through the windows. He recites Qur’an along the way, a soft recitation just audible above the humming sounds of cars and trucks outside. Such a moment is so simple, yet I can still remember the feeling in my hands, and it makes me smile every time.

Ramadan can be a beautiful month for you to connect with your spouse, to utilize the safe haven it provides away from Shaytan, with the increased remembrance of Allah, and the increased levels of worship taking place in your lives together. Unfortunately, this month becomes thirty days of frustration and resentment simmering beneath the surface because couples fail to create a focused goal they are both striving towards together.

In this article I am going to tackle some key areas of tension Muslim couples face in Ramadan and practical solutions to tackle them, insha’Allah.

 

Less Food, More Worship!

I find iftaar time really special with my husband. The kids and I set out the dates, start filling up cups with water, and we all wait together for Maghrib to arrive. I think it is an honor to hand my husband a date and glass of water for him to break his fast with, to rush to serve him, and share in the quiet space while we make du’a upon breaking our fast. The evening is quiet outside, the sky is beautiful, and we pray Maghrib together as a family. There is no rush, and as we all sit down at the table, after a busy day that took place while fasting, we reconnect and relax over a hot meal before preparing to leave for Tarawih prayers.

In many households, however, iftaar time is stressful and definitely not spiritual. One of the main reasons for this is hosting large and regular iftaar parties in the home. While it is wonderful to earn the reward of feeding those who are fasting, honestly,this trend of having to host and entertain to exhaustion has to stop. This practice affects mainly women because they are the ones expected to do all the cooking, cleaning, and prep work involved for hosting large iftaar parties. It robs a wife of time and energy better spent in greater acts of worship, and creates a strain between her and her husband. She often feels overwhelmed with the amount of work involved, with whiny children in the background who are getting ignored. There is no time to connect with her husband, her children, or feel loved and appreciated because both are busy running around for guests and, once meal time is over, her husband is out the door for Tarawih, leaving her to do the clean up. Do this once, maybe twice in the entire month of Ramadan, on a weekend when there is more time to help each other out, but not throughout the week or on a regular basis.

The goal of Ramadan is less food and more worship! You can entertain friends all year long – and cook for them whatever you would like – but this month is a time to recharge your “iman battery,” to have extra time to reflect on your character, and to cultivate new spiritual practices.

Too many social gatherings not only prevent you from this extra time, they also keep you away from your spouse. “But we live together, we have all year to spend time together,” you might be thinking. Let’s look at this the other way around: You have all year to spend time with friends, but only this one month to revisit what marriage means at its highest level, to strive the hardest in honoring and serving your spouse, this beautiful human being put into your life, the person that allowed you to complete half your deen. You both desperately need time to reconnect on what matters most, to realign yourselve as individuals, then as a couple, with the greatet purpose of your beating heart, which is to worship Allah subḥānahu wa ta'āla (glorified and exalted be He) (glorified and exalted be He) with every action.

Serve each other, donate together, recite Qur’an near one another. Hold hands, share long hugs, make du’a for each other, even kiss one another while fasting as our beloved Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) was reported to have done with Aisha while he was fasting. Put each other and your family first before the rest of the world. Soon enough, the fast pace of life will return, Shaytan will be back trying to interfere in your happiness, and the energy of this beautiful month will slowly fade.

Having focused on each other and on your love and commitment to one another, as well as to fear Allah in the way you treat each other, to seek His pleasure in the way you love your wife and respect your husband—the barakah of this month will continue in your marriage throughout the year insha Allah.

And that is true romance isn’t it? Love, affection, words. and touch all with the remembrance of Allah, with the angels busy writing down each exchanged glance and kind word between the both of you, preparing for you a palace in Jannah.

 

Suggested Planning Activity for Couples

Write up your personal Ramadan goals together over dinner and include one goal as a couple that you want to celebrate on Eid. It could be hugging each other every morning before your husband heads to work, reading a book and discussing it, planning out which evenings you’ll make space for intimacy, or letting go of small issues for a harmonious home life. Romance doesn’t just “happen” all the time; a successfully married couple plans the space for romance so that when you greet each other you can relax, tune in and connect.

http://www.productivemuslim.com/ramadan-series-romantic-ramadan/

“Beauty of Marriage in Islam” by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari

Description

Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari speaks about sexual relations in Islam at the “Beauty of Marriage in Islam” event held in Greenwich University on the 22 January 2009, incorporating the launching of his new book “Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations”.

Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pzpPcGrPqM

Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdOjY…eature=related

Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i3tL…eature=related

Part 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpz4F…eature=related

Part 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePjxX…eature=related

Bio of Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari

Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari is a young traditionally trained scholar who studied in different parts of the world. Born in Leicester, UK and raised under the guidance of his illustrious father, Shaykh Mawlana Adam, he started learning about Islam from a very young age and memorized the Qur’an at a very tender age of nine. He initially studied the Arabic Language and various other traditional Islamic Sciences at Darul Uloom, Bury, UK, under many Shaykhs notably, Shaykh Muhammad Yusuf Motala (may Allah preserve him) and received authorizations (ijazas) in various books including the six major books of Hadith. He also took part in a one year course of specialization in the science of giving legal verdicts (Iftaa).After graduating from the Darul Uloom, he travelled to Karachi, Pakistan, where he studied under one of the greatest living scholars, Justice (Rtd) Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) and others. Later, he travelled to Damascus, Syria, where he increased in experience and knowledge by studying under the great Ulama there and received authorization (ijaza) from Shaykh Abd al-Razzaq al-Halabi, Shaykh Dr. Abd al-Latif Farfur al-Hasani and others.

Islamic rulings on contraception

What is the Islamic verdict on contraception and birth control in general? Is it only permissible at times of need?

<ANSWER>

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

First of all, it should be known that, one of the main aims of marriage in Islam is procreation. Islam encourages its followers to reproduce in large numbers in order to increase the size of the Ummah of our Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace).

Allah Most High says in the Qur’an:

“So now hold intercourse with your wives and seek (the children) what Allah has ordained for you.” ( Surah al-Baqarah, V: 187)

In a Hadith recorded by Imam Abu Dawud, Imam an-Nasa’i and others, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Marry women who are loving and reproduce in abundance, for I shall outnumber the other nations by you.”

It is clear from the above, that Shariah encourages its followers to abstain from practicing birth control, especially, when it is given a formal, organized and general approach. Therefore, one should refrain from practicing contraception unless necessary.

As far as the Shar’i ruling is concerned, there are two categories of birth control and the ruling of each is different. The ruling of each category is as follows:

1) Permanent Irreversible Contraception

This type of contraception is carried out when the couple decide never to have a baby. It is done with a sterilization operation carried out either on the man (Vasectomy) or the woman (Tubectomy) and renders the couple incapable of ever having children.

The ruling with regards to this is that, it is unlawful (Haram) to carry out such operations. There are many Narrations of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and clear texts of the Fuqaha (Jurists) which determine this.

The Companion, Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (Allah be pleased with him) said:

“We use engage in Jihad in the company of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and our wives did not accompany us. We said: O Prophet of Allah! Shall we not castrate ourselves? He forbade us from doing so.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

The great Hanafi Jurist, Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) says:

“Castration of humans is Haram.” (Radd al-Muhtar).

Imam al-Ayni (Allah have mercy on him) says:

“Castration (and sterilization, m) is prohibited with the consensus of all the scholars.” (Umdat al-Qari)

However, in cases of extreme necessity, Irreversible contraception will become permissible. For example, a woman’s life is in danger or repeated pregnancies gravely damage her health, etc. This however, should be advised by a Muslim qualified doctor.

2) Temporary Reversible Contraception

There are many methods by which reversible contraception can be performed. Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method), the pill, using of the condom, i.u.d, spermicidal, just to mention a few.

The ruling on reversible contraception is that, it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) if practiced without any reason. If there is a genuine reason, then it will be totally permissible with the permission of the wife. Some of the reasons (for the permissibility of reversible contraception), which the Fuqaha mention, are:

a) Physical state of the woman,

b) Weakness and illness,

c) The couple are on a distant journey,

d) The couple’s relations are unstable and divorce is likely,

e) Spacing out children in order to give them adequate care and attention,

If contraception is practiced due to a reason contrary to the teachings of Shariah, then it will not be permissible. Some of these reasons are:

a) Fear of poverty and not being able to provide,

b) For the fashion of keeping small families and imitating the Kuffar,

c) Being ashamed of having a girl,

There are many narrations from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) which signify the permissibility of reversible contraception, but at the same time indicate it to be undesirable.

Sayyiduna Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) says: “We used to practice Coitus interruptus (Withdrawal method) while the Qur’an was being revealed. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) knew of this and did not prohibit us.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim )

This has more or less been mentioned by the scholars in their books. (See Imam Nawawi in his commentary of Sahih Muslim, Mulla Ali al-Qari in al-Mirqat, Ibn Abidin in his Radd al-Muhtar and others.

For more details, please refer to my book on this subject titled Birth Control and Abortion (Revised Edition), available from the Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK.

And Allah Knows Best

[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK

Is contraception permissible? Is it disliked? What is the better way?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most MercifulIn the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah’s peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, his folk, companions, and followers

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Contraception is permitted. However, it is superior not to engage in contraception without genuine reason or benefit, because the Qur’an and Sunna have encouraged having children, and there is great benefit to the individual and society in raising righteous children.

Allama Jad al-Haqq (Allah have mercy on him), the pious late 20th Century Shaykh al-Azhar, wrote in a fatwa dated 1399 AH (1979 CE), that:

1. Contraception is permitted if the husband and wife agree, as there is nothing in the Qur’an or Sunna to prohibit it; rather, the hadiths and practice of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) indicate permissibility, and this is confirmed by the words of the jurists across the schools of Islamic law.

2. It is not permitted to engage in contraception without the agreement of the spouse–for both husband and wife.

2. Contemporary forms of contraception, whether used by the husband or the wife, are akin to the `azl (ejaculating outside the vagina) mentioned in the hadiths, as is explicitly understood from the words of the jurists of the Hanafi and other schools. Rather, they are superior, more natural, and less harmful.

3. It is not permitted to use irreversible contraception–such as sterilization.

4. It is not permitted for there to be state-imposed forcible population planning. [Summarized from Jad al-Haqq’s fatwa, from Mawsu`at Fatawa Dar al-Ifta’ al-Masriyya]

Other contemporary fuqaha state likewise.

While some texts indicate that it is somewhat disliked (makruh tanzihan) to do so, this is not what most of the major jurists of the Hanafi school state. Even jurists who stated that it is disliked mentioned that if there is a sound reason or benefit to engage in contraception then it is not disliked. In our times, this would include reasons such as having a manageable family size, when one does not have the support of extended families in raising the children; the desire to give the children the attention, education, and support they need in difficult times; genuine (physical or emotional) health reasons, and so on.

However, we understand at the same time that one of the purposes (maqasid) and wisdoms of marriage is to have children, as mentioned by Imam Ghazali in his Ihya’ Ulum al-Din.

The Qur’an and Sunna of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) have encouraged having children. There is great benefit to the individual and society in having children. Not only does having righteous children maintain healthy communities and societies, but it also teaches humanity: few things are more effective in teaching good character, mercy, compassion, and true love as having children does.

This is why the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Marry and multiply.” [Abu Dawud and Nasa’i]

Regarding the Permissibility of Contraception

Sayyiduna Jabir ibn Abd Allah (Allah be pleased with him), the notable Companion of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) relates that,

“We used to engage in contraception (`azl) while the Qur’an was being revealed. Had it been something that was interdicted, the Qur’an would have forbidden it.” [Bukhari (5209); Muslim (4220)]

Kasani (Allah have mercy on him) states in Bada’i` al-Sana’i` (2.334-335),

“It is disliked to engage in contraception (`azl, preventative ejaculation) with one’s wife without her permission. This is because intercourse with ejaculation is the means to having a child, and having a child is her right. By resorting to contraception [without her permission], having a child is prevented, which is akin to being a reason for not fulfilling her right.

However, if the contraception was with the wife’s agreement (rida), then it is not disliked. In such a case, she will have willingly forgone her right.”

This is also mentioned by Marghinani in al-Hidaya, and Nasafi in Kanz al-Daqa’iq. Zayla`i confirms this in his commentary on Kanz al-Daqa’iq. [Tabyin al-Haqa’iq Sharh Kanz al-Daqa’iq, 6.21]

Ibn Taymiyya (Allah have mercy on him) and others relate that the permissibility of contraception with the wife’s permission is agreed upon by the four schools of Sunni Islam. [al-Fatawa al-Kubra, 2.101]

Ibn Nujaym (Allah have mercy on him) says in al-Bahr al-Ra’iq Sharh Kanz al-Daqa’iq,

“The permissibility of contraception (`azl) is the position of the generality of scholars, because of the [abovementioned] hadith in Bukhari…” [3.214]

Is Contraception Disliked, Though?

Ibn Nujaym then quotes Ibn al-Humam (Allah have mercy on him), who mentioned in his magnificent commentary on al-Hidaya, Fath al-Qadir, that some scholars of the Hanafi school considered contraception to be permitted yet disliked, while others did not consider it disliked. [ibid.]

Mulla Khusro, the great Ottoman master jurist, said in al-Durar, that it is permitted to engage in contraception. He does not state that it is disliked. [1.315] Shurunbulali (Allah have mercy on him) does likewise in his marginal commentary, al-Shurunbulaliyya. In fact, he relates that some scholars permitted it even without permission because of the bad times.

The Fatawa Hindiyya, compiled by some of the greatest jurists of Moghul India under commission from the righteous Sultan Aurangzeb, explicitly negates that it is disliked by stating,

“Contraception is not disliked with the wife’s permission… “ [1.315]

This is also what Haskafi relates in al-Durr al-Mukhtar, and is confirmed by the words of Ibn Abidin in his marginal commentary (hashiya), Radd al-Muhtar.

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

قال سلطان العلماء الكاساني في بدائع الصنائع: (2/334-335) ويكره للزوج أن يعزل عن امرأته الحرة بغير رضاها ; لأن الوطء عن إنزال سبب لحصول الولد , ولها في الولد حق , وبالعزل يفوت الولد , فكأنه سببا لفوات حقها , وإن كان العزل برضاها لا يكره ; لأنها رضيت بفوات حقها في الفتاوى الهندية: العزل ليس بمكروه برضا امرأته الحرة أو برضا مولى امرأته الأمة وفي الأمة المملوكة بغير رضاها . قالوا وكذلك المرأة يسعها أن تعالج لإسقاط الحبل ما لم يستبن شيء من خلقه
*Warning: The above fatwas were regarding issues pertaining to fiqi rulings. I would refrain from seeking their fatwas on matters of aqeedah. Allahu alim.
——————————————————————————
For a list of fatwas on the matter from IslamQA:

Knowing your spouses feelings..

 

عن عائشة قالت : قال لي رسول الله ( ص ) : ” إني لأعلم إذا كنت عني راضية . وإذا كنت علي غضبي ” . قالت : من أين تعرف ذلك ؟ فقال : ” أما إذا كنت راضية فإنك تقولين : لا ورب محمد . وإذا كنت غضبي قلت : لا ورب إبراهيم ” . قالت : قلت : أجل والله يا رسول الله ما أهجر إلا اسمك

Aa’ishah (RA) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to her, “Indeed I know when you are pleased with me and when you angry at me.” So I asked him, how do you know that?” He said, “Whenever you are pleased with me you say ‘No! By the Lord of Muhammad.’ And whenever you are angry at me you say ‘No! By the Lord of Ibraaheem.'” I said that is true ‘O Messenger of Allah I only boycott your name.”

Bukahri and Muslim

Islam Question and Answer – Etiquette of intimate relations

islam teaches us everthing..as to how to eat , dress, etc…is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one’s wife.is any position Sunnah ..or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard to this?

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.

Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad:

“Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:

The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world.

Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.

Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation.

The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.

(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249).

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400).

(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251).

Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations:

Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Narrated by Muslim, 720).

This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us among them.

Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them.

When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If Allaah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187)

It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156).

It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. For more information see Question #1103.

If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allaah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79)

One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:

when the “two circumcised parts” meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory).” (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching.

Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the “water” of semen is ejaculated].” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269).

Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): “Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the man or the woman.” For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah, see Question #415. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’” She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.

It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232).

It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Agreed upon).

It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160).

But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.

It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157).

It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa’] said: “Yes, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said, “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143).

This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allaah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Islamic Perspective Of Sex

Islam assigns man value over and above the rest of the creations. Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) created a pair of male and female. He knows best. Human reproduction is impossible without the existence of such a complementary pair. This co-existence complements each other. Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) created the male and the female in a perfect order that indicates His Greatness. Each one is granted aspecific mission. Both, male and female have a specific role to play in this life. No one should defy his role. Therefore, Islam illustrated these various roles in order to leave no room for speculations. This booklet is an attempt to shed some light on various issues related to this important subject.

Contents

Forward
Translator’s Word
Introduction
Islam And Sex
Islam And Sexual Stimulants
Islam And Female Protection
Islam And Marriage
Conclusion

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http://www.islamhouse.com/p/386695