The case for Polgaymy 

Taken from the Facebook page of: Muslims against Feminsim 

Taken from the Facebook of Muslims against feminism:

A fact that many Muslim feminists struggle with is that the Prophet Muhammad (s) was a polygamist, and the Quran (4:3) allows men to marry up to four women if he can do justice to them.

Now I don’t want to undersell that caveat – “justice” here means that the man must allocate the same amount of money and time to each of the co-wives. This is an important fact to keep at the back of your minds for the rest of this post.

When the Prophet’s polygamy is mentioned, they may say, “well, he married older widows”. It is true that many of the Prophet’s wives were definitely older widows and divorcees; women that were middle-aged and with children, and needed his support.

But the Prophet also married young women – `A’isha, Hafsa, Rayhana, Safiyya, and Juwayriyya; women that probably could have married other companions had the Prophet not married them. Furthermore, the Quran and Sunna do not say that “polygamy was only during wartime”, or that “polygamy is for older widows”; nor do the Quran and Sunna ever ban polygamy from being practiced in future generations. The halals and harams of Islam will remain so until the Day of Resurrection.

Many feminists may find polygamy to be perverted. But a DNA study of populations finds that, in recent history, the global average was that 4-5 women reproduced for every 1 man. This means that, on average, men either didn’t reproduce, or they would reproduce with multiple women. In some periods, there were as many as 17 women reproducing for every man: https://psmag.com/environment/17-to-1-reproductive-success

“But that was in pre-modern times. There was more conflict and more wealth inequality, and people (men) were uncivilized.” Most of us may be away from conflict today, but men are still being taken away by suicide, drugs, homelessness, the prison system, the military, and overseas jobs at a much higher rate than women. These factors lead to a preponderance of females and a shortage of marriageable males.

On top of that, men are falling behind in education, and women in their 20s in the West now make more money than males in the same age group. This makes it difficult for women to find partners that are equal or above them in socio-economic status. Divorce laws in the West are also discouraging men from getting married; and promiscuous culture allows men to remain unmarried almost indefinitely.

Furthermore, infidelity is at 30-60% in America, and hook-up, prostitution, and sugar-baby culture is expanding further and further.

So essentially, a big chunk of married men in the West are still reaping the “benefits” of polygamy (i.e. sex with more partners), but without bearing the same responsibilities. Married women are still “sharing” their husbands, often knowingly, but without allowing their husband to be accountable to their “side chick”.

What Islamic polygamy does is give the second woman her rights. Instead of her being treated like a secret sexual fantasy, she is recognized, given time, given support, and (if she wants) given children. Polygamy institutionalizes a woman’s desire to be with a stable, marriageable man, and a man’s desire to have a second woman, in a way where rights are guaranteed. It allows us to bring balance to the Umma; where a man sacrifices some of his wealth and a woman sacrifices her exclusivity to help a struggling sister going through difficulty.

The alternative is relationship chaos. Yes, there are many “good men” out there who do not desire a second woman. Maybe even most. But there are far easier ways to find extra sex than to take on a second woman. 

What are we going to do with the slew of Muslim women who can’t get married? Some are older, some are divorced, some have children, some are converts; and for almost all of these women, finding a younger successful man who will take them as their one-and-only is not a realistic option. Should these women just stay single? What polygamy does is it gives a good man to more women and a male guardian to more children. But the word is so taboo that it cannot be uttered, let alone mentioned as a potential solution to the current Muslim marriage crisis. 

Subhanallah, these same liberals want to convince us that it’s more natural for a woman to marry another woman than for a man to marry multiple women. The former is okay, the latter is backwards and barbaric. If marriage can be redefined to include gays, why can’t marriage be redefined to include polygamists? You judge for yourself.

“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].” (4:3)

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