“A man feels empowered when he is trusted, accepted, appreciated, admired, approved of and encouraged.
The secret to empowering a man is never to try and change him or improve him.
When I ask a room filled with hundreds of women and men they all have had the same same experience: the more a woman tries to change a man, the more he resists.
The problem is that when a man resists her attempts to improve him, she misinterprets his response. She mistakenly thinks he is not willing to change, probably because he does not love her enough. The truth is, however, that he is resistant to changing because he believes he is not being loved enough. When a man feels loved, trusted, accepted, appreciated and so forth, automatically he begins to change, grow and improve.”
Taken from the book:
Men are from mars and Women from Venus
Understanding in conflicts is the key to making them constructive
The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman’s primary love needs is through communication.
When a man can listen to a woman’s feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement that he needs.
Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus
“Our relationship with God may make or break our marriages. Augustine said, “Man was made by God and does not find rest until he finds God.” If we look to a marriage partner to give us a sense of worth and to bring happiness, we are looking in the wrong direction. Many have expected a spouse to provide that which only God can give. Peace of mind, inner security, a confidence in the outcome of life, and a sense of joy about living do not come from marriage, but from an intimate relationship with God.”
Hope for the separated, wounded marriages can be healed.
Marry the daughters with good looking men.
Ibn al Jawzi said in his book “Adaab an-Nisa:
وَاسْتُحِبَّ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ تَزْوِيجَ ابْنَتِهِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ لَهَا شَابًّا مُسْتَحْسَنَ الصُّورَةِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ تُحِبُّ مَا يُحِبُّ الرَّجُلُ
And it is recommended for anyone who wants to marry off his daughter, he should see for her a good looking young man; because women also love what the men love (i.e. good looking religious spouse). [As-Saffaareeni may Allaah have mercy upon him quoted in his book Ghitha’ Al-Albaab 2/391]
Then As-Saffaareeni attributed to Umar ibn al Khattab said:
” لَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمَرْأَةَ الْقَبِيحَ الدَّمِيمَ فَإِنَّهُنَّ يُحْبِبْنَ لِأَنْفُسِهِنَّ مَا تُحِبُّونَ لِأَنْفُسِكُمْ”
“Do not make your women marry the ugly, unsightly man, for they love for themselves what you love for yourselves.” [Ibid]
It is mentioned in al Musannaf Abdul Razzaq, Umar ra said:
” يعمد أحدكم إلى بنته فيزوجها القبيح ، إنهن يحببن ما تحبون ”
When anyone of you knowingly marry your daughter with an ugly man, (even though) she likes what you like for yourself. [ مصنف عبدالرزاق: كتاب النكاح 6/158.]