Here are the five keys to get her and her parents to say yes to you: 1.Money 2.Your goals 3.Your personality 4.Your credibility 5.Your independence Now let’s repeat that again: 1.Money 2.Your goals 3.Your personality 4.Your credibility 5.Your independence
4. Credibility Your credibility. And that includes your social and communal credibility. Which means if people will ask your relatives and ask your family about you. When they receive a positive answer it makes them feel confident that you can really handle the affairs of a family and a wife. Your credibility among your peers. I remember a teacher telling me this saying “Tell me who your friends are and I can tell you who you are.” Which means show me five of your best friends and I can tell who you are. So if now people would ask your friends about you. Do you expect them to say yes to you, or no? This also includes your religious credibility. How much are you involved in the Muslim community? How often do you go to the Masjid? Does the Imam know you? I remember when my wifes family without my knowledge came to my city to inquire about me right after I proposed. Obviously I didn’t know they were doing this but they came to the Imam of my masjid and asked about me and he told them that if he had another daughter he would marry her to me. I’m not saying this to brag or boast but i am mentioning it because it left a huge impact on my to be father in law. The people at the masjid, do they know you or not? can they attest for you. Parents would like to feel confident and comfortable that the person who is proposing to their daughter is not only religious enough to know his religious duties towards his wife and towards his family but the people in the masjid and his community can vouch and verify that he has good credibilty.
5. Independence Your Independence. You need to show them that you are in need of getting married but not necessarily that you are desperate to get married. You need to show that your life goes on with or without marriage and that your goals and life focus will not be hindered in anyway. For some reason our nature is we love to have what we cannot get. So if a family says no to you, you need to show some sort of independence and confidence, that doesn’t mean that you have to just walk out and that’s it, its over. You can still get back again, but not showing any kind of unconfident or desperate position. The independence that you need to show is that you really depend on Allah Subhana-wa-Tallah on all things and all affairs. Specifically they ask the subject of rizq, after taking all the means and the measures to secure that rizq.
Wasalamu alaikum Atiq Nakrawala & Yaser Birjas http://www.practimate.com