Four things..

روى ابن حبان في صحيحه (4032) وأحمد في مسنده (1448) عن سعد بن أبي وقاص رضي الله عنه عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : ( أربع من السعادة : المرأة الصالحة ، والمسكن الواسع ، والجار الصالح ، والمركب الهنيء ، وأربع من الشقاوة : الجار السوء ، والمرأة السوء ، والمسكن الضيق ، والمركب السوء ) وصححه الألباني في “الصحيحة” (282

It was narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh (4032) and Ahmad in his Musnad (1448) from Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:

“Four things are part of happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious abode, a good neighbour and a comfortable mount. And four things are part of misery: a bad neighbour, a bad wife, a small abode and a bad mount.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Saheehah (282)

Marriage in Islam is a contract where the rights and obligations can be mutually agreed

Marriage in Islam is a contract where the rights and obligations can be mutually agreed as long as they are islamically acceptable.

“People always say that it’s not the woman’s responsibility to cook for everyone in her husband’s household or to take care of their husband’s parents. However, recently I was wondering if this mentality is a view created as a result of some influence from feminism. I wonder if even the learned amongst us have accepted this viewpoint without really critiquing it because of the influence feminism has had.

So for instance, Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “My father died and left seven daughters, or nine daughters. I married a woman who had been previously married, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Did you get married, O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He asked, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young woman so you could play and joke with one another?’ I said, ‘ ‘Abd-Allaah [the father of Jaabir] has died and left behind daughters, and I would not like to bring them someone who is like them, so I got married to a woman who can take care of them.’ He said, ‘May Allaah bless you’ or ‘Fair enough.’” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari bi Sharh al-‘Asqallaani, vol.9/513).

“The evidence derived from the hadeeth of Jaabir is that al-Bukhaari introduced this hadeeth under the heading, “Baab ‘awn al-mar’ah zawjahaa fi waladih (Chapter: a woman helping her husband with his children)”.

This hadith surely shows that actually a wife taking care of others other than her husband is something that we shouldn’t discourage just like the nabi (saw) didn’t. So if a man marries a woman with the view that they can help look after others in his household, then we shouldn’t accuse the man of oppressing his wife because this is completely permissible in Islam. What I would say is that this shouldn’t be an expectation of the man. Therefore, men should inform their future spouse the requirements they expect of their spouse to fulfil and if the future potential spouse accepts these terms then there is no problem with this arrangement.

May Allah protect us from kufr ideas like feminism. Ameen

– Mohammed Ibn Ansaar

Shaykh Akram on children and more..

*THIS WAS DELIVERED BY SHAYKH AKRAM NADWI*

*IN A CONFERENCE AT THE AZHAR UNIVERSITY, CAIRO.*

_DEPARTMENT OF ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGY EDUCATION._

– The purpose of marriage is to have children and then educate them to worship Allah (SWT).

– When a child is born, a mother and father are also born.

– The personal development of the parents is just as important as that of the child. This point is often overlooked.

– Modern education seeks to incorporate people into the economy – to make money. Islamic education seeks to train people to become ‘good’ individuals, in terms of their character etc. ‘Good’ meaning to prepare for the Hereafter.

– Your children, before they are your children, they are the slaves of Allah. His rights over them precede your rights.

– Your duty is to teach them and provide them guidance – not to make them pious. You will be questioned whether you taught them right or not.

– Parents need to realise they too are slaves of Allah. His rights over them precede their rights. Don’t become enslaved to them such that you forget Him.

– Children see and hear with their eyes. If you want them to hear, make them see. Parents should be role models.

– Education is primarily given by the family environment. Today, we suffer from the problem of ‘disorientation’ where children, and in many cases parents also, are getting there ideals from elsewhere (e.g. TV etc). Everyone is on a different wavelength and so family ‘unit’ is broken.

– The home should be given precedence over all other environments and used as the measuring-stick by which other things are judged.

– A person can learn from the natural environment. The entire universe is a means to the Remembrance of Allah.

– Piety doesn’t depend upon ‘space’. Abu Bakr R. A. became as-Siddiq in a space (i.e. Makkah) where there was much hostility against Islam and Muslims. On the other hand, those who lived in an ‘Islamic state’ did not reach his level. Space can be good at times, but can also make a person lazy since there are no challenges. Thank Allah for the ‘space’, for every new ‘condition’ is a test, and gives you oppurtunity to improve yourself.

– Islam and Iman can never be defeated.

– Teach your children how to remain pure, but also teach them how to purify themselves, through repentance when they slip.

– The law of this universe is that if you want to achieve something, it requires labour. Instil a sense of ‘will’ within your children, so they act willingly.

– Focus must be given to child’s physical growth, as well as their mental growth. Teach them how to read the Qur’an, how to cook, how to clean the house, how to wash clothes etc.

– Develop ‘thinking’ in your child. Otherwise they will do things in order to fulfil their desires. Today, in the guise of ‘freedom’ we are being directed to become more bestial.

– Teach them to always think about the consequences prior to acting.

– 4 key qualities need to be developed in your child:

1) Taharah: purity of the mind, body and heart.

2) Ikhbat: worship of Allah with utmost humility. Teach them the hadith , the love for the Salat, taqwa and zuhd – teach them they weren’t created to be attached to this world.

3) Samahah: a personality which comprises bravery, genorosity, patience, tolerance and controlling of desires. Life is not meant to be just about comfort; it requires struggle and striving.

4) ‘Adalah: be just to them and teach them to be just to others.

Nevertheless we should stand up and tie our belt to motivate them accordingly by the Islamic injunctions and skills.

May Allah (SWT) forgive our shortcomings and make us the inhabitants of jannatul firdaus, Aameen !

As the marriage season gets underway..

Advice from Brother Omar Husnain

As marriage season starts to get underway…

For the brothers

1. Marriage is not going to cure your pornography addiction and wandering eyes. Therapy and dedication will. Fix your issues before you go and ruin someone else’s life.

2. Yes, its best to get married young. But, you have to be able to financially provide. If you are still asking your Dad for gas money, you may want to reconsider.

3. Don’t lead on a girl and her family for a year, and then disappear. If you are not interested, let it be know immediately so everyone can move on.

4. Don’t expect Barakah when you used questionable means for the marriage.

5. Prep your life skills. Learn how to budget, take out the trash, and do things when you don’t want to.

For the sisters

1. If he is avoiding your family, its probably a bad sign from the start.

2. The more you pollute your mind with Hollywood fantasies, the more your marriage will be farther from reality.

3. Don’t listen to those who tell you that “You don’t need no man.” Let them enjoy their single life.

4. Be compassionate to your parents. They truly want the best for you. They could be completely wrong, but tell them why they are respectfully.

5. 21 is not to “old” to get married. Better to get married at 22 and be happy, than 20 and miserable.

For both

1. Ignore the people in society who want to pit the genders against each other. Men and women are compliments to each other. Each one needs the other.

2. Marriage is not 50/50, its 100/100. You have to be willing to compromise some things completely for the greater good of you BOTH.

3. You should both get in better shape after marriage, not worse.

4. Do some religious activity together such as attending events, prayer,dua,service, etc. It will help grow your strongest bond: The spiritual one.

5. Remember that the journey only gets better with time.

#marriage #makingitwork #happilyeverafter #reality #betterwithtime #couples